Watch yourself

Watch yourself

Although I can’t seem to find it, I’m sure I wrote a post a few weeks ago where I mentioned trying to buy a car. Being a technical chap I wanted to know about the engine – you know, being the most important part of a car – but getting frustrated because seemingly most car dealer webpages tell you nothing about the car itself and instead just try to sell you the idea of mobility and personal space.

It seems to the same with watches too, where we’re not quantitatively enlightened about either accuracy or precision. But what really annoys me is how the purveyors of these quality time pieces take us for being stupid, and set the hands to the “ten-to-ten” or the “ten-past-two” position. They treat us as imbeciles who are easily led and will part with our cash just because the hands are in a happy smiley face position.

Does this psychology really work on us – that a smiley face is enough to make us more likely to buy a clock of unknown quality? And factor in that the hands aren’t moving…meaning that we’re looking at a watch which is seen to not even be working! All we know about it is that it displays the correct time twice a day!

If this isn’t bad enough, we need to deal with the cheesy tag lines.

watch chronograph
Not just a watch, but a CHRONOGRAPH!!! Whoopee do. Happy to spend 700 euros? ๐Ÿ™‚
watch gravity
Take off with G-force. Doesn’t gravity stop you doing just that? Happy face! ๐Ÿ™‚
watch solar
Not a sundial but a solar watch. Oh look, it’s slim. Happy face! ๐Ÿ™‚
watch international
This watch is so good it’s guaranteed internationally! Happy to pay a grand in euros? Happy face! ๐Ÿ™‚
overseas time
I like how we see the atlas looking down from the North Pole, so effectively the watch hands are lines of longitude and play time zone. Sold by…a happy face! ๐Ÿ™‚
perpetual day date
Perpetual day date: time goes on forever, but it tells history. Really? Happy face! ๐Ÿ™‚

And what’s this crap about telling history? Admittedly there’s special terminology for a watch which tells the time in the past – “stopped” – or broken.

OK, enough!


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