Parallel ageing, growing up and 90:10

My wife has a theory that men don’t grow up; they stay boys.

In practical terms, twelve year old boys don’t exist; there are 2 six-year-old boys in their place. In my case (allegedly!), I’m not a young growing 48 year old, but 8 six-year-old boys!

So it would seem that I age in parallel and not in series. Where wiring batteries in parallel means an increase in current flow, it follows that that parallel ageing gives me more appreciation of the present! 😉

On my next birthday I’ll hit 49. That’s 7 seven-year-olds; the inner child in me is growing up. The question is what will happen when I reach fifty; will I be 5 ten-year-olds or 10 five-year-olds? There’s either regression or maturation, and I’m not sure which is best!

On the subject of growing up and the best way to do it, I remember a blog post I wrote years ago for my “Daddy blog” called from a “FromaDaddy”. It was a review for a hoodie which heralded the “90:10 philosophy”. It’s a long dead website now (strictly not quite true – the domain’s been taken up by a Japanese fortune telling company(!) ) so I’ll reproduce the post here so that you can find out about the philosophy. Maybe you’ll agree with it too!

Note: When I previewed this post and checked the links I was dismayed to find that the 90:10 website is also dead 🙁 I’d like to think that the 90:10 philosophy lives on…

90:10 Overture

90:10 a concept all men know, but not so many have dared to shout about, let alone wear with pride on a quality hoodie. 90% grown up is enough…

“How big am I?” I ask my wife.

“Oh, you’re definitely small.”

Not the greatest words a man can hear, but I emailed my size to Dan from 90:10 and duly received a free hoodie a few days later in the post for review. Size medium! 🙂

So here it is, and me in it ===>

I suppose I could comment on how nice this hoodie is. How it’s so soft that the fairies and angels themselves use it to line their pixie boots, that the quality of the workmanship is so superlative that Elven watch makers and cobblers are cack-handed in comparison.

Or that it looks so good that it totally transforms me and makes me attractive to all women. That all those women want to instantly rip this hoodie off me, and not only devour the masculine flesh that lies beneath, but to keep the hoodie they’ve just robbed and give it to their own husbands and boyfriends.

Naturally without this hoodie my life isn’t worth living, and now that I have experienced the sensation of this particular hoodie in this amazing colour (in size medium) I am now spoilt and all future clothes will need to be bought from “…the lovely people at 90:10”. If only they did underpants…though I don’t want to think to what end the hood would be used for.

But let’s face it. That would be a dull and tedious read. I mean. It’s a jumper with a hood and you guys out there don’t want to be looking at pictures of me wearing it – so my apologies for the above picture of me…ahem…wearing it.

And I’m sure Dan is “lovely”. He called me “Paul” and “Mate” in an email and not “Dear Sir / Madam”. But what we need to focus on is that Dan is a normal bloke and not a shallow corporate grey suit. He wears hoodies, for one thing. He drinks with his friends down the pub and is working on fulfilling his passion for a concept.

A concept which is so great that it makes the monkeys coming down from the trees seem like nothing more than a chance to give their arms a rest and stretch their legs.

It’s a concept which every man knows deep down in his monkey-mind but one that none has dared to screech from the tree tops. One that is understated when our wives complain that men are still boys and will never grow up and one which seemingly takes me around 400 words to get round to saying.

And it is this…that evolution has had its time. Men have had enough with growing up. 90% is enough! Enough with the responsibility and mundanity of life. We don’t want to be our parents; it’s more fun to play with our own kids!

90:10. 90% grown up, 10% not.

It’s a concept I’m happy to buy into. To support a brand that’s out there and has values that are actually worth wearing [excellent] products for.

90:10.

“Buy into a concept?” Sounds like a load of corporate BS…but a lot of us already do it. Like organic food, or Fair Trade where a company says “Hang on a sec, we’re not paying the coffee bean growers a big enough share from our marked up jars of instant and the consumers are up in arms about it. Let’s charge those consumers more so we can pay the farmers more without it denting our pockets.”

And then we go to the supermarket and reach out for the jar that has a picture of a farmer on it and which costs three times as much because we buy into the idea that we’re supporting the farmer in the picture on the jar. You know, the jar that’s sitting on the shelf next to the regular unethical coffee from the same manufacturer.

But 90:10 is different. It’s a simple message. So simple it can be embroidered onto hoodies and worn with pride and in comfort, in sizes from small to extra extra large. (Plenty of space to grow out, but not up! 🙂 )

It’s not “Levi 501“. A Peugeot 309, a can of WD40, the 18:12 overture or a footballer’s name and number.

It’s 90:10. It’s personal, and it means something. It means I’m fun, and I know how to enjoy myself.

So I’ve spent the last few days wearing Dan’s heart 90:10 logo on my sleeve chest. (Actually, even on the back of my neck where there’s another logo inside. We’re talking about a man who is quite rightly very proud of his concept!) And yes, I like the hoodie!

It’s soft yet durable. Made from 100% organic cotton and 100% ethical. It fits snuggly and it fits well. It’s the best hoodie in my wardrobe, on the planet, possibly in the known universe, and maybe in some of the unknown universes too. Blah blah.

But – it doesn’t stop my hands burning, because it’s a hoodie and not an oven glove.

It doesn’t clean my shoes well because it’s a hoodie and not a door mat.

And it doesn’t keep me dry, because it’s a hoodie and not a raincoat.

And it doesn’t keep me warm outside because it’s a hoodie and not a winter coat.

I read on Papa Tont’s blog (edit: now also a dead “Daddy blog”) that it kept him warm when he went outside in 4 degrees. I also read on his blog that Papa Tont is a serving soldier (I don’t think we’re talking about sliced toast with boiled eggs here…) so no doubt he’s a lot more macho than I am and better able to deal with the cold.

But hey. I’ll see his 4 degrees, and I’ll raise him snow. In my swimming trunks.

But I was freezing so he wins!

And it doesn’t make me a chav, even whilst wearing the hood over a baseball cap, bitchin’ about m’bitch and jingling the bling, elbows buried in the car bonnet on the front lawn next to the discarded fridge and settee, because it’s who’s inside wot counts, innit?

And what’s inside, or I should say, what’s been woven into the material with the magic of fairies, a sprinkling of pixie dust and an all-preserving mighty power of truth is – if you’ve still not got it yet – the 90:10 concept.

90% grown up is enough.

And what do others make of it?

A girl at my office asked where I got it and promptly snorted before stomping off on a huff when I told her about the 90:10 concept. “You men are all the same!”

Maybe 90% are. The 90% who won’t click through to the 9010 man webshop. The other 10% of us will be sporting the logo with pride. We’ll be tying ourselves to the railings, burning our blazers and tank tops and using discarded bras as catapults.

Some prick told me it should say 80:20, but I wasn’t going to spend 80% of my time with an idiot with less than 20% imagination. Come on man, that’s so eighties!

My mates? Apparently the hood holds enough popcorn for about 10 minutes’ movie time.

My wife? She says that I will probably struggle to get to even 90% grown up! But she loves the hoodie enough that she can hardly wait to rip it off me…

On a practical note, the 90:10 website is refreshingly honest. It has a special offer which the tech man can’t handle. It states delivery times under obligation; Dan sends out his products on receipt of his order. When I told Dan my size on Wednesday, the hoodie arrived snappish. I’m not going to sing the praises of the English / Dutch mail service (they haven’t sent me a free stamp to do so) but I’m going to sing Dan’s praise in that he picked up a hoodie and bunged it in the post immediately.

Now why can’t all online retailers do that? Maybe because they employ the monkeys who have descended from the trees and are still trying to figure out how to use those opposable thumbs.

And here’s where I’ll stop. My thumbs are getting tired, and besides, it’s difficult to type with my wife clawing at my hoodie. And I’m a little bit tijcklihsshhh.

But I encourage you to carry on. Enjoy your 10%! Grab a 90:10 hoodie (or something else from the website) and have some fun. It’s soft and durable. But don’t go for the pants.

90:10. 90% grown up, 10% not. Come to the light side!

Some quotes from the 9010 Man founder, Dan Glatman

Encapsulated within the brand’s message is some recognition for a guy for getting his act together but at the same time reminding him that that this doesn’t mean that he is now over the hill…far from it!

For the lion’s share of the time, we all have to take life seriously but not all the time! My vision is to marry humorous and innovative branding to stylish and great quality clothing delivered to the customer at the right price in an environmentally responsible way.

90:10’s roots are steeped in humour as it was born out of a merry conversation in a pub!

From a Daddy, Paul

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